I just woke up

30/11/2018
Today, I still do the same as described above. It happens... Nothing seems to have changed...

14/11/2018
... i just woke up and the first class already started. In the past few weeks I'm always missing the fisrt class somehow...
Right now, I only have 5 weeks until the end of semester.
I dont know... Was this suppose to be different?
I feel tired since the first week. I know I can't keep avoiding the work, and if I dont start taking this seriously now, it will be too late (maybe it's already too late...). I've been studying some stuff but it's not enough.
They say it's only the first year that's worse so I dont want to give up for now. But at the same time... I mean... Im paying for this. Shouldnt this being more enjoyable somehow?
It's not that i dont like what they "teach" us (do they even teach?), however, everything goes so fast... I'm too slow for this. Theoric classes are just bullshit, i dont understand nothing at all and they dont care. If i get to understand something is in the pratic ones, but they are always "late" when compared to the rest. On exams will be also the stuff we didn't have time to see on the pratic classes.

I know I have to work hard, there's no other way.
But i feel like i've already lost.

On the other hand, I've felt like this before in my life.
Last year, I also felt like I had already lost. That I wouldn't be able to be here.
Well, now I am here. Do you believe that?

Since I had already "lost", I hadn't nothing else to lose. So I still tried. Because the "no" was always there... And somehow I have conquered the "yes". I am here!

Maybe I just need to do the same again.