Sou feita de protótipos

Aos pouquinhos tudo se vai compor.

Às vezes é necessário um empurrãozinho, mas percebi que se quero isto ou aquilo, tenho que tomar uma atitude.

Já a estou a tomar. Agora, há que continuar.

Se quero uma mudança, tenho que mudar. Mudar sendo eu.

Aprender. Evoluir.

Mudar não significa transformar-me em alguém que não sou.

Não significa esquecer quem fui.

Neste caso, significará abrir portas, construir portas, e deixar entrar por essas portas aquilo a que chamarei um dos incontáveis protótipos daquilo que será uma melhor versão de mim.

Um passo adiante.

Não há problema em recuar, porque um recuo pode sempre tornar-se parte do processo de avançar. Por vezes tropeçamos e caímos.

Independentemente do tempo que demorar, independentemente do tempo que faltar.

Há que lutar. Há que tentar. Falhar. Tentar de novo. Lidar com os erros e seguir.

Erguemo-nos.

Um novo dia.

Um novo começo.

Um novo protótipo aprimorado que tem em conta todos os anteriores.

Um novo eu, sendo eu.

What are we made of

Everything is just a matter of time.
Meanwhile, both my hopes and fears colide.
And explode.
Vanishing into ashes.
Like everything in this world.
Like us.

Why are we here

Why are we being sent to this world,
What's the purpose of being alive?
We born
Grow up
Some reproduce
and then
we all die miserably.

i am so proud of you

"I'm fine" - you say

You put on a pretty smile,
But through your eyes
i notice the struggles
you're trying to hide

When times are hard
And it's late at night
Alone, on your own,
you lay on bed and cry

Step by step
You keep on trying
You sleep while waiting
A better day to start

Even if you never tell me
That you are down
Deep inside
I know

I know you're
Always Fighting

and i am so
Proud of you

My biggest wish
Is that all your
dreams come true...

wondering how much time to move on

Why do i still...
Think about you
Miss you
Want you
To be with me;
Do i still
Love you;
Why does it still
Hurt
so much;
Why havent i
moved on
Yet;
but Im better,
arent i;
good or bad
I cant tell
Oh...
I wish
i could tell.

True title: just laying down in silence holding tears while wondering how much time is needed to fully move on and i stop this nonsense.

Rainy day

Today all I see is grey
my house, my room,
the clouds, the sun,
myself.

Today is a rainy day
I'm glad I have my red umbrella
The only not-grey thing I'm seeing
It protects me, so I'm counting on it

That's when an old lady crosses the street
Everyone could notice she was tired
Yet, she smiles at me
"Good morning" - she gladly says.

That sweet old lady kept on her way
And I can tell she wasn't grey.
She was vivid, full of stories to tell
Her kindness made my umbrella weird

It was raining,
And I had my red umbrella
But it couldn't stop the rain
From falling all over my face.

I'm hugging my pillow tight

I've been missing you here
Alone in the night
I lay down in my bed
Something feels off in my chest
So Im hugging my pillow tight
Dreaming with the infinite
I look at the dark sky
Some stars are shining bright
I close my eyes and breath
I wish you to be back
Hoping that you will be alright.

What can I do when I can't stop loving yoy

Am I dumb for loving you?
Is it wrong to keep these feelings?
What can I do when I can't stop loving yoy?
Should I wait...? Should I let go...?
Which one is more painful?
Which one is the best way?
In the end, will it be worth it?
Is it love? Is it something else?
Am I being too much delusional?
Am I a fool for wanting to believe you?
Do you want to be specially with me?
Or you just "don't mind" it...?
I know about myself (do i?),
But what about you?
I want you to want me...
I want you to look up for me...
If I was gone, would you notice it?
Would you try to go after me...?

¿Do you...
...Love me?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore

I look at the mirror and tell me myself
What I would like to hear
And what I would like to say
I keep hours on it,
as if you were there with me

I remember the memories
The past and the present
The ones I've spent and I'm spending
Or wasted and wasting
it depends on your perspective

Fantazing about the future
The one I idealize
I always dream a lot
About things that, probably,
will never come true

I look at the mirror and tell me myself
What I would like to say
What I would like to do
I keep hours on it,
as if you could hear it too

I keep hours on it as if you were there with me
I keep hours on it as if you could hear it too
I keep hours on it, until reality comes back
and I don't know what I'm doing anymore

I yell to the Sun

I yell to the Sun
Hoping my words will reach him
If they reach him, then they could easily reach the Earth
I yell hoping the words won't reach only the Sun
I'm hoping the words will reach the World
I yell to the Sun
They are alone even with thousands athoms around them
Why?
Why there is no one to help?
I yell for it, not for me, for them
I yell to the Sun
Because he always get up in the morning
Because there is no one else
Maybe he could help someone getting up the same way he does every day
Even if I get his warmth brigthness
Yellowly white light in my face
I know, I know
This smooth nicey feel
It is blinding my eyes
I can't see
I yell
I yell
Please help someone getting up in the morning
Make them free
Make them free
Please, make them free

I whisper to the moon

I whisper to the Moon
I tell her all my wishes
I tell her my secrets
She is my friend
My confident
I tell her everything good
My dreams
My fantasies
My love
My love

I share my room with a spider

I share my room with a spider
I'm not quite sure if she's alive
But she always stands by my side

I share my room with a spider
I probably should clean it tho...
My room is a completely mess

I share my room with a spider
I ignore her and she ignores me,
but,
still,
we are each other company

Você me torna um hipócrita

Você me torna um hipócrita.

Sigo sempre a lógica e a razão

Se está errado, não pode estar certo;

E se está certo, eu não estou errado.

Contigo

Saio de casa sem saber para onde ir
A rotina está à espera e eu ainda a dormir
De pés no chão, com a cabeça na Lua
Fico a pensar no amor que no presente perdura

Que tipo de ideia foi a tua
Quando apareceste e tudo de mim conquistaste
Ou que tipo de ideia foi a minha
Quando tudo de mim te dei?

I got the sun and the moon all over me

I wish I could count the stars
I wish I could just fly away
Have you ever felt like you dream was real?
Have you ever felt like your life was your worst nightmare?
I got the sun and the moon all over me
Watching my steps from the sky where all the lights lay down
Do you also see them?
The stars are so distant but they look like they are here with me
People are gone but they keep in my heart
I keep seeing them night and day
They will never fade
As long as they stay still
inside myself

Subitamente

Bastou um piscar de olhos
O bater do coração
Subitamente me tornei apenas...
"não"

Não me sei expressar

Não me sei expressar 

Não quero ter de me expressar

Dar justificações a alguém
Explicar aos outros aquilo que penso

Eu sou racional
Na maioria das vezes emocional
Baralhável

Confusa

Instável

Dizem que sou ingénua
Admito que até o posso ser
Mas eu também penso
E penso demais

Às vezes queria não pensar

Não pensar em certas coisas

Pausar os sentimentos

Fazê-los transparentes

Não os ver, não sofrer

Cortei os longos fios embaranhados

Abri o cadeado Sem chave... 

Foi arrombado Por mim 

Eu quis falar Eu quis fugir

Não me iludir Desencantar-me

Deste encanto Deste feitiço
Desta dança a pares
Que danço sem ti
Só Sozinha
Imaginando sonhar
O sonho que nem em sonho foi real

Faz da escrita a minha voz

Palavras que ficaram por dizer

Confusões por resolver

Paradoxos da vida

Que não nos deixam viver

Tenho as palavras medidas

Imagino como se falar

Que frases posso usar

Estão todas aqui, trancadas no meu pensar

E pesa

E continua a pesar

Quero fugir

Do que devo enfrentar

Junção colorida

Sentimentos contraditórios invadem os meus territórios - querer ir, querer ficar; querer esquecer e querer amar...

E o meu peito anda tão cheio de cores derivadas - todas misturadas
Numa confusão daquelas bem atrapalhadas.

Adicionando luz, a junção colorida torna-se branca;

Mas se a luz não estiver presente, um mero instante é suficiente

Para em escuridão se transformar.

E se eu te dissesse que julgo seres tu

A luz que necessito,

O brilho do meu olhar,

Aquele que o meu coração diz amar?