The blind who don't want to see

I hate the fact that you are always in my mind... You say you care, your actions don't.
    Can I really stop loving you?

For you it must be just the same. It probably isn't that important. You have other options, and they seem equally good.
I'm just one more problem in your life.
I feel so stupid. Of course you don't have the time. You don't even want to. You don't have time to talk, but you have time to play. You don't want to have time. Isn't it? You don't even think about me, probably. Time can be scheduled. A bit before sleep, lunch break, waking up, a lil break before the other class, it could even be going to the bathroom. I guess there would be always some time. I also have plenty things to do, and I still think about you, I still check if I have messages, I still would be able to talk whenever you were there. In fact I've been putting you in front of almost everything. That's one my mistakes. That's why I'm tired.
I don't need all the attention of the world, I just wanted to feel that you love me as I do. But you have doubts. You love someone else, but you refused yourself to tell me you don't love me because it would hurt me. For you, it doesn't matter which one you will be with in the end. Is just a matter of watching who will leave first. Well, this is hurting too. Being told we were better as friends is the same that you probably mixed feelings and afterall you don't love me in that way. It says a lot, right?
I'm sure you have too much to think. I don't blame you for that, I understand things are hard. Between all your thoughts, I'm sure I'm not included. If I was, things would be different. And it shows. I bet there's not a single time you remember about me during the day. It's always me going after you. I'm so blind. It's annoying...
Bothering all my close friends about something like this... Can't even speak about any other thing. I feel so dumb. Everything around me reminds of you. I can still see you on the places we were, and i go there almost everyday... I can still see you in my mind. You eyes, your smile, your hair, your skin, your hands, ... Sometimes i still feel your hugs. And kisses... The things we said... The things i was about to left unsaid, the things i was about to left undone. The happinness...

I can't keep like this. Why am I so stupid. It's logical to just move on. Whenever i think about this, or say it, my heart breaks into pieces. I am really blind. The worst kind of blindness is the one that happens when people don't want to see. I know all the things my friends have told me. I know I'm being idiot. And yet... Here i am, crying over it.

I want you to stop me from giving up. Tell me things will change. Tell me you love me in that way, that you don't want to move on... Because you also love me... The same way you did before... Or even more... Or maybe that, even if i have to wait, you already have the final answer, and will come back to me with the certain that we will be happier and an amazing couple again... That you don't want to loose me in this way... That we aren't just dear friends... We are more than that... And we can face all the hard stuff together, looking at each other... Holding hands while waking side by side... Hugging thight like no other... Giving kisses that take out my strengh... Actions that even without words, say: "I love you..."